


He Stole My Heart and My Wallet

by ohitsbo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Kuroo and Hinata are v lowkey characters, M/M, Oikawa's an asshole, Why did i refer to iwa-chan with his first name, because we love him, kissed them as a distraction while stealing their wallet au, what is this trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 03:50:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5482274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohitsbo/pseuds/ohitsbo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hajime just wants to get a job at the very prestigious Aobijosai Publishing Company. When he's finally accepted for an interview, he thinks that the worst that could happen is that he messes up during the interview.<br/>Long story short, he ends the day without a wallet, without an interview, and with a lot of pent up anger and sexual frustration. Who knew one stranger could do so much damage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Stole My Heart and My Wallet

Hajime Iwaizumi had a very important place to be and exactly no time to get there. In fact, he was supposed to be there fifteen minutes ago. He barely registered this fact five minutes ago, when he woke up to find that his alarm didn’t go off for some reason he’d blame someone else for later when his mind wasn’t only on getting to that job interview he’d worked for almost his entire life. He was going to get accepted into this publishing company if it cost him both of his legs and an ear. At least, that was his plan before his ‘I’m fucked’ moment a few minutes ago, when he practically threw on pants, shirt, and a suit jacket. Hajime wasn't even sure if he buttoned up his shirt correctly, but that’s a problem for later. That’s a problem for when he actually got on the train, which was currently running late.

Oh, he was fucked alright.

Leaning forward just enough to watch for the train’s lights coming his way, he found himself suddenly angry at the operators, or the train, or the world. Construction, they say. More like a huge-ass-inconvenience.

He suddenly felt a gentle tap on his shoulder and he turned around quickly- possibly too quickly- to see who it was. There stood a man, can’t possibly be any older than Hajime, grinning shyly down at him. It was nearly impossible to not smile back. There was something about the way the man’s eyes shone that put him suddenly at ease.

“You wouldn’t happen to know if this is the way downtown, would you?” His voice was soft, relaxed, and Hajime just wanted to sit back and listen to it for a few hours. Until, of course, he reminded himself that he had to be someplace right then.

“Yeah, the train’s late, though. Construction.”

“That’s a shame, isn’t it? Especially going someplace like downtown, people having work and all.”

Hajime smiled, “I know what you mean. I’m late for a job interview, actually.”

“Oh, really? Where?”

“Aobijosai Publishing.

“Funny you say that. I actually work near there.”

Hajime hummed in response, still looking fondly up at the man. He had beautiful brown hair and warm eyes of the same color. His smile was comforting and bright. Angelic, even.

The man nodded to himself once, as if confirming something in his head, before reaching out a hand, “My name is Tooru Oikawa. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Hajime took the man’s hand instantly, “Hajime Iwaizumi. The pleasure is mine.”

Oikawa tilted his head slightly, his mouth curling into a smirk. He flashed a glance around the station before returning his gaze to Hajime, and when he spoke again his voice was firmer than the light tone he used with Hajime last time, “Say, Iwaizumi, you seem awfully familiar. Do you live around here?”

“Umm, yes. Just a few blocks North.”

Oikawa’s eyes lit up, “That’s an expensive neighborhood. Why are you taking a train to go somewhere as far as Aobijosai Publishing?”

“I don’t own a car. Didn’t see the purpose of one in a city like this. You see, Oikawa, I might have money, but that doesn’t mean I spend it on things I don’t need.”

This time, it was Oikawa’s turn to hum, “Very respectable, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime grunts at the nickname, but decides not to comment on it. They stand in silence, both pairs of eyes trained on the sign above their heads. The train would only be another minute. Hajime looks back at Oikawa, only now taking the time to wonder why he was being so friendly. He barely knew the man, and already he was so comfortable with talking to him. It was like he’d known Oikawa for years. The man in question dropped his eyes to meet his, and Hajime didn’t look away like he wanted to. Instead, he looked at Oikawa as if he could soak up every fact about him by just watching the way he breathes, the way his eyes crinkle as he smiles, how the small tuft of hair on the top of his head bobs as he moves. The man in front of his was so interesting and compelling in a way Hajime had never seen before. Oikawa seemed… fake, to put it simply. Too good to be true. Almost made him wonder.

Almost like he sensed Hajime’s confusion, Oikawa tore his gaze away from the other man and instead threw towards the tunnel.

The train was coming.

With a slight smile, Hajime straightened his back and looked towards the ceiling, half wishing that his encounter with Oikawa would end and half-wishing for it to go on forever. He didn’t have time to think about a stranger. He was an important man, or he would be once he got his shit together.

You're past late. What are they going to think of you now, Hajime?

He closed his eyes and listened to the train whistling past until it slowed to a gradual stop. Hajime hurried to the first car and, finding there were no open seats, grabbed onto one of the poles with a huff, reaching into his back pocket for his phone. Three missed calls. All from Kindaichi. How could he have guessed?

There was a sigh beside him and he glanced over. There was Oikawa, smirking over at him with something that resembled mischief and pity.

“Fancy meeting you here.”

Hajime laughed long and hard, tilting his head back and getting several glares from the other people in the car. It wasn't that funny of a joke, really, but the stress seemed to leak out with ever intake of air.

“Crazy, ain’t it.”

The two launched instantly into the friendly conversation again, so effortlessly that they must’ve looked like best friends. What followed after was another comfortable block of silence, just looking at each other in a way that must’ve told everything about how the men were feeling. Hajime could see this Oikawa as a friend. Maybe he could get his number or something, talk after work sometime.

Speaking of which, Hajime never asked where Oikawa worked.

“Hey, Oikawa-” What happened next was painfully unpredictable. Hajime continued to tell himself after it happened that there was no way he could have seen it coming and he shouldn't be to blame. 

Hajime was cut off suddenly by the feeling of Oikawa’s lips against his.

Hajime let out a surprised yelp but was silenced by another kiss, this one going deeper than the first. Oikawa was pushing him back against the door, Hajime’s hands relinquishing its hold on the pole to drop by his side. His mind was a constant whirlwind of ‘Oikawa, Oikawa, Oikawa.’ The fluttering feeling in his chest a mix of confusion, surprise, and anxiety, and suddenly his mind just went blank as the other man wrapped his arms around Hajime and slid down to grope his ass. And suddenly the feeling was gone. There was a pause. Hajime opened his eyes to see Oikawa blowing him a kiss with a devilish smile before turning around and exiting the train. The doors shut closed behind him. Hajime stood, still numb from the kiss, leaning on the opposite door in disbelief.

After a few minutes of staring into space, he suddenly remembered the reason he was on the train in the first place.

Oikawa got off at his station, he realized, and if he thought he was fucked before, he certainly was now. Especially when he got off the train and realized…

“The asshole stole my wallet!”

Kuroo looked over at him in just as much amusement as sympathy, “Shit, man. I don’t know what to tell you. He got you good.”

Hajime sighed and collapsed onto the sofa, “You think I don’t know that? It was a dumbass plan anyway. What if I wasn't into men? What if I pushed him away? What if I didn’t have my wallet in my back pocket?”

“It worked, though.” Kuroo took a swig of his beer, “Imagine that.”

“I don’t have to. He ran off with my ID, credit card, whole foods membership card, and my potential job. Fucker.”

Kuroo sat down next to him, “Listen, I never met him, and he obviously planned this shit so he might’ve lied to you, but look him up. You know his name don’t you? If you can catch the guy, you can probably fuck him up a little and teach the bastard a lesson. I would.”

Hajime didn’t want to hurt Oikawa too badly, just get his stuff back. What that kid did was obnoxious, but he couldn’t help but respect him for it. Maybe he was still hooked on that kiss, but it was hard for him to hate someone who outsmarted him that flawlessly.

And so Hajime did look him up that night, and was surprised to find that Oikawa Tooru did exist, not only that but he was fairly popular in high school for volleyball or whatever. The pictures on Google Images showed him that this was not only the same Oikawa but that the man clearly wasn’t clever as he thought. Hajime now knew exactly where he worked (It was actually close to Aobijosai Publishing), and he planned on heading there the next morning.

When morning came, Hajime actually woke up at the correct time when his alarm went off, and he found himself somewhat excited to see Oikawa again. Because he was angry at him, of course. Because he wanted to give him a piece of his mind, obviously. What other reason would he plan out his outfit the night before, get dressed in a blink of an eye, and skip breakfast just so that he could see Oikawa as quickly as he could?

‘Maybe,’ His brain supplied, ‘You want to kiss him again.’

That wasn’t it at all, he reassured himself.

And when he came across the Nekoma Cafe, he was still convinced that the anxiety he felt was not related to being able to see Oikawa’s face again. Or those beautiful eyes. But from his view outside the shop, he certainly forgot how much he missed them. There, lo and behold, was Oikawa, blessing a customer with a coffee, blueberry scone, and a smile. If Hajime squinted hard enough, he’s sure he might’ve seen a halo surrounding the man’s brunette head. He reminded himself quickly that if Oikawa had a halo it would probably be store bought (with the money in Hajime’s wallet) to cover up those devil horns. There was nothing angelic about groping a guy and then taking his hard earned cash.

Hajime waited until the customer had left before walking into the cafe with a grin. Oikawa had his back to him, sorting out something on the opposite wall, which gave Hajime all the opportunity to lean against the counter like he owned the place.

“One second, sir. I’ll be with you in a moment.” Oikawa told him, still facing the other way and completely oblivious to his current situation.

Hajime grunted and thought for a moment about actually buying something until he realized he didn’t bring any cash with him. He sighed and returned his gaze back to the other man, who seemed to be counting his tips. His shift must be ending soon. Hajime came just in time.

“Say,” Hajime drawled, “You wouldn’t happen to know where the nearest subway station is, would you?”

“Can’t say that I do,” Oikawa responded, tone still sweet and polite and everything like how it was when Hajime first met him. It almost makes him wonder if the pickpocketing thing is something Oikawa does a lot, speaking to his victims like they’re customers. Hell, maybe he even believes they are customers in a sick way, giving them a nice conversation and a kiss for just all the value they have on them at the time. Hajime takes the time to think about this, wonder how many other guys (or even girls) Oikawa had played. There must be a support group or something. Imagine that, a bunch of idiots circled around, talking about what they lost that day. Imagine Hajime, sitting there feeling as equally idiotic. It would probably make them feel worse about what happened than supported.

He comes back to earth just before Oikawa turns to look at him. He’s been anticipating this since Kuroo suggested it.

And when the beautiful man turns, he does it with a smile. This smile fades, of course, the second he sees his customer.

“You?”

“Me. You.”

“How?”

“The internet is a resourceful place, Oikawa Tooru.”

He blinks at Hajime, mouth peeled open slightly, before licking his lips and looking around the shop. No one to help him. He really messed up this time.

“Was it worth it, Oikawa? Stealing my money with a kiss and running off like you just did god’s work? You know, I actually thought we could have been friends.”

Oikawa snorted but judging by his eyes he wasn't feeling so smug, “So, you’ve come here to beat me up or something? Turn me into the police? Get revenge?”

Hajime grunted, “Oikawa, I'm not here to hurt you, or do anything really. I just want-” What did he want? “My stuff back.”

Oikawa seemed genuinely shocked for a moment before his face contorted into something like disbelief and anger. He slammed his fist against the table, “I don’t have it. Leave.”

“No.” Hajime looked between Oikawa’s fist and his face, “Why don’t you have it?”

“Gave it away. Spent it. Threw it out. Whatever the way, it’s not here anymore, Iwaizumi.”

Hajime took a deep breath and leaned across the counter until he was nose-to-nose with the other man. He glared at him, eyebrows furrowing into an expression he saved purely for the people who well and truly ticked him off, “Oikawa. If you threw it out, what would be your reason for taking it in the first place? I just want my shit, and I’ll leave, never having to look at your face again.”

Oikawa looked cornered and conflicted, as if he wanted to tell Hajime, but he couldn’t. He met Hajime’s gaze for as long as he could before turning away and grabbing something underneath the counter, tossing it lazily to the other man.

“Take it. Nothing valuable in there anyway.”

Hajime took his wallet and checked to make sure everything was intact, before looking back at Oikawa.

“You’re not going to tell me why you took it in the first place, are you?”

Oikawa looked at Hajime with eyes that seemed, at first, to be sad and in a flash turned into something mischievous, like he knew something Hajime didn’t again. He grinned, letting his tongue poke out a little and winking at Iwaizumi.

“That’s for another day, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime didn’t see Oikawa for months. He came to accept that the little shit’s threat was empty and he could probably just forget about that for a while.

This, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, wasn’t the right call. Oikawa never makes promises he doesn’t plan to keep. But life goes on, and Hajime eventually did get hired at Aobijosai Publishing. He met other guys, actually got laid (to Kuroo’s utter astonishment and joy), and generally got his shit together as he promised himself he would all those months ago. He tried his best to block the memory of that one night on the subway out of his memory to the best of his abilities, but that was hard when every asshole he met reminded him of Oikawa

His new life brought him to a Christmas party at the publishing company, which resulted in a lot of alcohol consumption. Not on Hajime’s part, of course. Not at all.

There he met Hinata Shouyou (a very promising new writer) and his manager, Kageyama Tobio. Hinata, who had a significant amount of that alcohol, prattled on about a book critic only know as “The Grand King of Novels,” and who Kageyama described as “ a general shithead.”

Well, thought Hajime, he can’t be as bad as Oikawa.

He was wrong.

Hinata tugged him along to meet the man himself, who was making a first-time public appearance, and when he finally looked at the guy, Hajime found himself at a loss for words. There stood Oikawa Tooru with a sly little smile, champagne in one hand and a wallet in the other. 

“So, did you steal that too?”

Oikawa’s smile dropped, “No, this is actually my wallet.”

Hajime hummed and looked back at that stupidly attractive face, “Well I’m sure it is now.”

Oikawa sighed but didn’t turn away from Hajime, instead tilting his head and letting that smile grace his face again, “Funny meeting you here, Iwa-chan.”

That sentence seemed all too familiar.

Hinata jumped excitedly between them, “You know each other? That’s amazing! You’re both really amazing.”

“Chibi-chan,” Oikawa said in a low voice, “Do you mind giving us a moment?”

Hinata’s grin lost its light for a moment before Kageyama pulled him back to the bar, muttering an apology at Hajime. He accepted it with a grunt.

“So, you got a job here I see. Despite being extremely late to the interview.”

“I guess so.” Hajime glared at Oikawa, letting him know full well he wasn’t here to fuck around. He seemed to get the message.

“Are you still mad, Iwa-chan? After all this time I was sure you would’ve gotten over something so silly. Please, let go of the past. I am sure we can be friends.”

“Friends? We made out in a subway car.”

Oikawa giggled, “Isn’t that how you always make friends?”

Hajime was not impressed.

“Alright," Oikawa drawled, "Let’s start anew. My name is Tooru Oikawa. I work part time as a cafe barista and full-time as a secret book critic, and I really like milk bread.”

He rolled his eyes, but Hajime couldn’t help but play along, “My name is Hajime Iwaizumi. I work full-time publishing books.”

Oikawa’s smile didn’t seem so dangerous anymore. It almost seemed- soft.

“I’m glad we’re able to meet again, Iwa-chan.”

And though he was more than a little pissed, severely sexually frustrated, and just a little bit wasted, Hajime couldn’t help but smile back.


End file.
